Ah, work/life boundaries — so tricky, so necessary, and so darn hard to manage for many reasons both personal and professional.
A female business colleague/friend and I were sharing personal insights for how we set (or don’t) boundaries for work and personal time. (Before I go on, I must raise my hand and confess, “I, Jane, am a workaholic” because this tendency plays a role in how my story unfolds.)
Insights from the stands
Over the last six weeks, I attended twelve teeball games, two a week, all with 5:30 PM start times ( isn’t 5:30 PM the middle of the afternoon?!). There I saw my six-year-old grandson smile shyly yet proudly at us on the sidelines after his triumphant runs to first base. I could cheer him (and others) on in the process one charming little fellow so creatively named “first we hit, then we glove.”
To my second act of life way of thinking, this encouragement and our presence were acts of leadership development for those small girls and boys. We were helping them build self-confidence. Learn teamwork and sharing. Begin to appreciate that others to have different skills and outlooks, and that is OK.
Going to those teeball games was also a commitment of time, I’m sad to say, that wouldn’t have happened in the first act of my life.
In that Corporate America part of my life, there was the ever-present, yet albeit covert, belief that individuals — especially women — who left work early for family reasons (things like 5:30 PM teeball games) “weren’t giving it their all” or were “unwilling to do what it takes.” Given my desire to succeed and those workaholic tendencies, I drank the corporate koolaid by the gallon. Not wanting anyone to say I wasn’t willing to do what it took, 70-80 hour work weeks were the norm. I used to joke that a 40-hour week was a part-time job. Ah, sick puppy.
Time for a new direction
Having emerged from my “corporate detox” period, I can more objectively look bac. Today I see the error of my ways. Back then, I set no boundaries. All work, very little play. I allowed my work schedule and life to be influenced by those covert stereotypes. I own letting that happen.
But now, I also see how badly frayed the fabric of business practices is. Spoken and unspoken expectations that enabled, no - encouraged, my nose-to-the-grindstone, crank-it-out work ethic. Organizational cultures where taking time away from the office to participate in activities like cheering on the next generation of leaders wasn’t valued. Where doing so, in fact, is negatively rewarded at review time for those bold and smart enough to set boundaries. I’m taking ownership to change this.
Along with Anne Perschel, I’ve been researching women in business and power. We’re ready to start reweaving the fabric of business so those teeball acts of leadership development and other changes can happen. For women. For men. For anyone interested in transforming the paradigms of business.
Ready to play?
